Here comes my annual new years post, where I reflect, but also make resolutions (which I hardly ever keep) and just start the year off fresh.
2016, you have been wonderful, full of quite a few highs, and only some lows. NGL this year has been particularly drama free. Only one particular event which happened before Easter where we finally decided someone just wasn’t worth our time anymore, and then after that moment, literally no drama for the rest of the year. It has been a very chill year!
This was my first year of University, and let me tell you this, was it an experience that I’ll never forget. My tightest group of friends who I made mainly through college (high school) but also some from intermediate were separated, so we all weren’t going to the same university, nor did we all stay in Auckland, and we also all did different degrees. So this called for making friends, which btw first thing I learnt this year, I am terrible at making friends.
I became more self conscious of what people thought of me, and personally, sometimes I’m too 150% Vanessa, and I need to chill in front of strangers or they’ll never like me, because I come across as too crazy or awkward or just not a person to be friends with. *and this is where I start randomly placing goals for next year* I want to work on my self awareness, when I say this I mean work on thinking about others before myself, and also thinking about what I say before I say it. Hopefully this makes me a bit more social, right?
Oh and with University, comes the daunting moment of your grades. Second thing I learnt this year, you cannot use the same studying habits from college. This will not help you unless you are an absolute genius. I let myself down this year with my grades, but it’s also due to me working 30 hours a week because I’m an idiot. P.S don’t work more than 15 hours a week. It is never a good idea, at all. I want to work on my grades next year, I want to get my GPA up, because at this rate, I’ll never get a job because of how competitive accounting is.
If you wanted more context about my now drama free life, here comes another life tip! Negative people do not need to make your life negative also. Just accept that their friendship is just not worth it anymore, and let them go. You don’t need to create an argument and let that end your friendship, all you need to do is to just stop starting any interaction, and if they don’t make any effort to start with you, then you already know where you stand with them.
So you guys may be confused by the title, but now is the time where it starts to make more sense. As you may see, I have a pair of black converse, which are very old. These shoes have been with me all through my final year of college, my first year of uni, and in and out of Auckland on my overseas adventures. These shoes are my life. But they’ve been needing to be replaced for about a year now, and only now have I gotten round to replacing them. I’ve thought long and hard about why it’s been so hard for me to replace them, and I’ve realised, it’s not because of the cost as I work too much and can actually afford them, but it’s the memories that these shoes hold that I feel like I’ve only just gotten the courage to let go.
As stated before, these shoes carried me through year 13, and let me tell you, that was one hell of a year. I went from having a big group of friends, to having my squad of 5. I realised who my true friends were.
These were also the shoes I wore on my first date, and also the shoes I wore when I had my first kiss. Which thinking about now, since it all didn’t work out, I thought it was a memory I wanted to repress, but I learnt from that mistake, but I also feel like I wouldn’t be the same person I am today if that never happened. So I will remember that awkward moment forever, even though I will re-iterate the awkwardness.
And finally, these shoes carried me through my first year at University, and I feel like I’ve already explained that so you get the idea now.
So here I am, the start of a new year, feeling like I need a completely fresh start, hence the new shoes. Me throwing my shoes away, doesn’t mean I’m throwing all the memories away, but more me moving on from the past, and heading towards the future. I think I’ve finally learnt from the many mistakes I’ve made, but that doesn’t mean that 2017 won’t be filled with mistakes because believe me, I will make heaps of mistakes, but that is what makes me human.
To conclude, I hope you all have the best year yet! 2017, will be my year!